10 Funny Things You Can Do With Your Penis

Seeing the title, you should guess this write-up is frivolously cheeky, not to be taken seriously. Let's get started.

If you are someone with an adult penis, then most of you might not have realized that you also have interesting novel things to do with this amazing appendage beyond its regular usage of urinating, masturbating and having sex.

10 Funny Things with Penis

1) Delivery

Don't take it wrong! You have a brother who is like a friend -- and is close to your age-- might ask you for something like soap or a towel while he is using the bathroom. You have a girlfriend or a wife living together and they ask you similar thingummy. Well, you get naked, do a quickie play to get a boner and hold things upon it and deliver things to them. You can shrink the towel to fit right along the shaft whereas for other things put them in a bag and insert the holder along the shaft to deliver things.

2) Painting your penis

You can paint your penis with colorful sign pens or markers while alone. You can do this out of boredom or out of excitation. But, if you have a wife or a girlfriend, then you can paint your penis scrupulously while fully erected and show it to her to get them agape and surprised. Another trick is you just close your eyes and your girlfriend or wife paints it for you. Obviously, it's a fun game and involves a lot of laughter.

3) Paint with your penis

Painting your penis is one thing and painting with your penis is another thing. You can't use random paints or chemicals for penile painting as penis tip is quite sensitive. So you just have to use organic paints like fingerprints or coffee paints. For simple domestic purposes, you can use the flour of different edibles that impart different colors. In this fun game, penis is used just like a paintbrush: you dabble your penis tip on the coloring paste and daub it to make an impression on a canvas or wood. Have you heard about Pricasso, the painter? No, not Picasso; I am saying Pricasso. He is this amazing man who makes a living by selling paints brushed by his prick (pardon me, the context demanded the word- Prick-ass-o), balls and butt. 

4) Bio-heater

Erect penis is engorged and so is hot. When it's winter, your hands get cold and fingers get numb unless you are unaware of the opportunities to use the comfortable heating device dangling in between your legs. Yes, it is the quickest way to warm up your cold hands before you can make a fire or plug the electric heater. Besides, making a fire and plugging a heater are not the options when you go outdoors. You can insert your hands in your pocket and ease your way down to the world of warmness. You can do it alternately making other hand busy in your ongoing tasks like writing, scrolling or driving (I don't recommend this while driving though!). Even in the cold winter holidays, you can make your girlfriend happy by having her grasp your erect penis to warm her hands. It's just like a gear that a car has: you just grab it and dingle dangle like a joystick. What could be too natural a joystick than this, aye?

5) Weight Lifting

Weight lifting by penis is not a new thing. We might have seen or heard that many Hindu saints lift the stones in different festive carnivals like Shivratri around Holy shrines. Nowadays, though seldom, penis weight lifting has been practiced as a fun party game like in stag night parties or college camping. It's limited just in a circle of closed friends. If solo, you can gradually increase the extent of weight by putting pebbles, marbles or something like that in a bag. If it's done as a fun game, guys with erect penises stand up in a line and weight is gradually added. The person whose penis can last longer with maximum weight is the winner. We can also use a bucket where girls can slowly pour water to the bucket which is hung on their boyfriends' erect penises. The winner can hold the bucket with maximum water. Contrarily, females do also have this exercise called vaginal weight lifting in which a medium sized egg is inserted into the vagina in which the egg is knitted with a long thread that holds a bag underneath. The bag can be used to offer the weight in an increasing manner. They say:- it's a symbol of empowerment that enables women to gain confidence, strengthens pelvic muscles and increases sexual satisfaction.  


6) Indoor Adventure

In the dark hours have you ever imagined delving into exotic indoor adventure? Well, this might not be a good choice for everyone and is thought to be socially incorrect but what if you do it so stealthily and no one would ever notice? Dare some nights to go to the kitchen stark naked with your fully erect shiny dangler waving in the air and prepare a cup of coffee. Drink it and return. Also, try one time to go to indoor-but-not-attached bathroom in your birthday suit with so much thrills down your spine. Mind this if you are busted, then you can't be forgiven. This feeling of taboo makes you more excited and even more cautious.

7) Safari

This is of course outdoor adventure whereby you go to a faraway place: peaceful, secluded with seemingly no one around. You get off your clothes, put them safely in some tree branches and just start your safari. Walk and walk. The more you walk watching your penis the more erect it will be. Some nerds also do cycling in the full Monty by putting the balls on the seat. The jerks and wiggles of the cycling makes your penis bulge out. Sometimes naked bike riding is observed for some intents. Skinny dipping in the full glory is just another venture to be considered in a natural stream. 

8) Bio-stick of punishment

You want to punish your girlfriend? Well, thrash her in her cheeks or forehead with a phallic whiplash. You can hold the base with your hand and whip it. Well, this goes the other way round too. If you make a mistake, your girlfriend or wife can offer you penile punishment. She slaps your erect penis while you cry in pain and promise not to repeat the mistakes. And you go flaccid. Truth be told: either way you hurt yourself more than your counterpart.

9) Exhibition

If you fantasize about the occasional flashing, then it's normal and you know what to do about it. If you are an exhibitionist, then you should think of going to some naked beaches or of sorts. You just can maintain your cool composure or immerse your body in sands with your thing pointing upright. Make sure to scrutinize the environment whether it's socially acceptable or not before going for it. Thinking about the broken doorknob? Well, leave it for now.

10) Jousting

Have you played genital jousting? It is an online game app that can be played in a group whereby you can do different activities with your digital penis. For example, you have to destroy the targets by poking with your wriggling penis to increase your score, win or reach another step. Just like this you can poke, hit, slap, blow or make things on the table fall or joust around the house with your penis. The effective result can be obtained if your penis is semi-tumid. That said, many of you might have remembered bull fight you used to play with your friends or brother/s in childhood. Whether you use it as a dart device to hit a hole placed some yards ahead by walking blindfolded or as a catapult to fling something away in order to hit a target at some distance, it's your sword use it for fun.

11) What next?

You can consider your penis as a wild animal kept in a zoo because nobody is expected to see it and is imprisoned securely. Just like you and your girlfriend have a pet name each, your couple should have a proper discussion on baptizing your penis with a good pet name. For example Mr. Jack or Mr. Mushroom might be some perfect names or just devise a name that is suitable and funny for both of you. Sometimes, couples  do have a kerfuffle, they don't speak for hours, days or seldom weeks. If there is no one else in the house then Mr Jack comes as an intermediary in the conversation. It peeps out of the zipper, exposes its lips and speaks. Well, you speak but you use your hands to make faces. You can just paint the tip with two eyes and a nose. Mouth is already there; you just have to manipulate it with your hands to mimic speaking.  It's just an inevitable 'member' of your spousal circle.  




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